We are Sisters Not the Oppressor
Reverend Brittini L. Palmer
We are Sisters: Not the Oppressor: Resist Sexism
(Genesis 16:1-3)
“…go in to my maid; it may be that I shall obtain children by her.” (Genesis 16:2)
We know what oppression feels like. We know what it’s like for someone to ignore our greatness, take our ideas, and underpay us. We also know the feeling of having the power to make decisions that affect our sisters. We are often the oppressed, and if we're honest, we are also like our oppressors. Sometimes, we use and manipulate each other when it benefits us. One day we’re Sarai and the next Hagar. We impregnate other women with our mess, and when they experience complications, we leave them, and that’s not sistering.
Truthfully, we are often placed in complex positions. When we encounter each other, our wires have intentionally been crossed. Our communication, compassion, counsel, and care are tied up in violent systems. Maybe this was the start of Hagar and Sarai’s relationship. Perhaps, their wires were crossed before they said one word to each other. They lived as though their value was measured by who could follow societal rules the best. They were women in a system that measured their worth by how much the man is pleased with them and whether they produce requisite babies. We, like them, may never have experienced the authenticity of sacred sistering. They experienced false realities and man-made ideas, and yet, throughout it all, God still desired to make broken things whole again.
God is ever present when dealing with the pains of the world, and yet repeatedly we miss divine moments to sister each other. We exist in systems and miss God. We can operate with our eyes closed, bodies tensed, and minds cluttered just like Sarai and Hagar. They were connected by the institutions of slavery and marriage in a patriarchal world. They were bonded under clouds filled with injustice. These conditions for anyone can create insecurities, making us believe a problem is fixed, but all we did was transfer the pain.
I am guilty of this. I’ve gotten caught up in circles of violence. I’ve believed what society said I should be and therefore hurt other Black women. I have. I didn’t know who I was and didn’t care about the sister I mistreated for societal accolades. As I reflect, I can clearly see how we lead our sisters into dark places refusing to show them the way out. We have the power to navigate this world differently. From my mother, to my sisters, friends, and strangers, I first see them. We are sisters not our oppressors, and if we want to live, we must never forget that.
So, before we try to be the best in the room, let us breathe, and look around. This one breath can be the difference between sisterhood and sistering. This moment allows us to remember who we are, see, and connect. We have the ability to do this. We must. Because evil is ever present, the world needs us, and most importantly we need each other.
Prayer: God. Help us not to become what we fight against. Amen.
Excerpt from – Sacred Sistering: A Devotional for Women of Color Ministry Leaders
